My Blog

This mother’s day, do something good while you surf. Keep this guy in prayer. I know how it feels to be accused of something when you are innocent. Most of us would have that sinking feeling before. So do keep yourself updated on the Michael Shields issue. I have been following this for almost 1 & 1/2 yrs already but i think its almost coming to an end. I strongly hope the Bulgarian authorities do the right thing.

Michael Shields Is Innocent - Free Michael Shields
Link: http://www.freemichaelshields.com/

A Liverpool football fan has been jailed for 15 years for the attempted
murder of a Bulgarian barman, despite another man admitting
responsibility.

Michael Shields, 18, from Wavertree, was accused
of attacking the barman by throwing a brick/paving slab at his head.
Martin Georgiev, 25, suffered a fractured skull and may have brain
damage, the Bulgarian court was told.

Graham Sankey, 20, an electrician from Anfield, Liverpool, said he carried out the attack.
Michael
Shields was picked out of a line up at a Bulgarian police station by
the majority of the locals. Sankey later admitted to lying in his
interview. Shields was made to wear a blank white shirt in the line up
despite never taking one on holiday with him.

Shields was asleep in his hotel room when the incident took place and this is supported by the statement of a hotel porter.
Michael
has now been sentenced to 15 years in jail and ordered to pay over
£70,000 in damages and it is only with your help that we can get the
Bulgarian authorities to release him. As much as you cannot condone his
actions, Sankey has played his part by sending a confession and now it
is up to the public to keep the media attention on the case to continue
the fight for justice.

On behalf of the Shields family I would like to thank everyone for their wonderful support.

Here’s the Letters from Michael

To Mum,

Thanks for all of your support, it’s cheering me up when I feel down.
I still cannot believe there is a campaign and people are walking around with my face on their T-shirts.
There is no day I am looking forward to more than the day I come home.
I’ve just finished the letters and I was crying but it was not a sad cry - it was a happy cry.
I know how fortunate I am to have such a wonderful family supporting me.
I sleep with my letters under my pillow and I will keep going strong.
I am just looking forward to the day I am home.
To
my nephew and niece (Philip, 4, and Kelsey, 9) Don’t get too
comfortable with the remote, with my computer, or in my bed - but keep
it warm.
Love, Michael

Some of my clients & friends think that my office is probably the best working enviroment possible. Plenty of women in skimpy shorts working out, sauntering around the gym like its our own home, flexible timing & the lack of office politics. This is really further from the truth. Tell me where on God’s green earth where the phrase "survival of the fittest" doesnt exist & i would give you $100. At my workplace, we got enough politics to make the Taiwanese politicians blush. It’s scary that such things exist. It’s even scarier that your own friends would sometimes, for the sake of business, turn around & screw you over. You pick your own battles & know when to find another day i suppose, since its a dog eat dog world out there. Recently, one of my colleagues is a victim of such politicking & i can only offer my condolences & a vouch of confidence that he is a better trainer than what the letters his ex-gf/business partner states he is. Kind of unprofessional isnt it? Especially when the pot calls the kettle black. I find it amazing that some people would turn around & bite the hand that fed them in the 1st place… not to mention that they were not that great from the start. I guess there are all kinds of people out there.

Kind of gutted by the fact that smart people would go for the look & train with their trainers who look good but cant train to save their lives rather than the people who have got the smarts to make a workout interesting. I find it amazing that these people somehow prefer to pay premium price to train with a cum-receptacle-for-brains bodybuilder who is probably jacking off steroids on every hour but has the most mundane & boring of workouts. Hitting plateaus aside, these people seem to contend that if i train with this goodlooker, i would probably end up looking like that. Kind of wrong mentality isnt. How people can go in day in day out to train doing the same old thing over & over again is simply ridiculous & so not effective.

One of the biggest gripes i have is that as much as possible, i do research on certain exercises, systems & methods & some of which i have invented on my own. However it is pretty irritating that most of these self invented methods are copied by some of the people around & claimed for their own. I guess i better start getting some form of copyright. ;P

Saw this… kind interesting to know how women think. One question that has been going through my mind alot…

http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com/quiz/isheakeeper/index.asp

It’s wonderful to have found a soul mate, but just because you share the same likings and interests doesn’t necessarily mean you will have the same strong passion for each other. In fact, happily married couples can have very different characters. What’s more important is that you have to have real affection for each other, feel comfortable, be able to share your deepest thoughts and feel safe being in a relationship with your guy.

All couples will have disagreements at times. These tiffs actually present opportunities that allow us to address the different issues that concern us. But big, ugly fights are a different story: When you both do or say things that really hurt or scare you, it takes you a long time to recover. And that’s bad for the relationship.

The truth is, most guys fib about little things. And a guy like that isn’t necessarily worse off than a guy who’s always compelled to tell the truth. Remember those times when you put on 10 pounds and asked him if you looked fatter? Let’s face it, how would you have felt if he had replied yes instead of no? There’s nothing wrong with small white lies, but if he lies often enough that you don’t know whether to trust him or not, (for example he led you to believe that he’s out for a drink with his guy friends and you found out that he’s actually drinking with two female colleagues), your relationship is on seriously shaky ground. Cut him loose.

If it’s just one girlfriend who has a negative opinion about him, you’re probably right not to take her appraisal too seriously. But if your friends and family are warning you against your guy, then there has to be a grain of truth somewhere. Perhaps you are too smitten by his charms to see things objectively.

You are not seeing him for who he really is unless you’ve shown yourself for who you really are. And it’s not just letting him see you wake up in the morning, sans makeup, hair poking this way and that. We’re talking about him seeing you at your craziest, bitchiest moment. If he could handle that part of you, hangs in there and stays interested, congrats, you’ve got yourself a keeper.

Many married couples will tell you that sex is often not so great at the beginning, because you still have so much to learn about each other. With intimacy, attentiveness to each other’s needs, openness to learning and an emotional connection, your sex life will get better and better!

The past is a really great predictor of the future. Yes, sometimes people change, but more likely than not, they are tomorrow the way they were yesterday. So keep your eye out for signs of deceit: Did he cheat on his exes? Lie about his past? Come up with empty promises? Get a grip: You’d be better off without him.

When a guy genuinely loves you, it matters to him that you’re happy. And it matters to him that you’re sad. That’s because he cares about how you feel. So what if he’s not good with words? He could lend you his shoulder to cry on – not distance himself when you need him most.

Of course, nobody is perfect. Your guy will have his share of flaws. But the idea that you’re going to be able to change your guy is, well, romantic but it’s not gonna happen. Try as you might, some things just cannot be changed. So before you commit to him, ask youself if his quirks are seriously bugging the crap out of you. Be honest with yourself: If you can’t imagine dealing with his annoying traits for the rest of your life, he’s not the one. Period.

You know you’ve got a keeper if you love him for his amazing personality. Not his money or his looks. After all, isn’t this what marriage vows are about: To love each other in sickness as in health, in poverty as in wealth? If you’re not ready to utter these words and stick to them, then he’s just not the one.

Recently, someone great once told me that, "the moral of the story in life is that every good intention is only as valid as its perception." So sad but yet true. Few things have happened recently when i tried my best to make something happen, make something right & maybe correct the fault in an aid to make up for lost time that myself or people around have missed out. You can mean the best for anything or something or someone,  but yet… if that person sees it as an abomination & literally abhors it… you have no choice but to accept that. Sometimes, its quite sad that you have to swallow it, especially when you go out on a limb to fight & win it… & when it does, things are usually not appreciated. At the end of the day, perception is always reality. It’s a sad fact of life. My only respite is that i can always tell myself in my shiok sendiri world that - i am handsome, i am smart, i am intelligent & that i am better than the better man/woman so i definitely dont need to put up with this bullshit. We are all shiok sendiri in one point or another.

Well, there comes a point in life when you start to reflect on the things that happen & try as much as possible to take stock of life. One things does matter though is that shit happens all the time.. but yet God is in control. That’s the good thing. Why He allows certain things to happen, that’s because He is sovereign & maybe in the great big scheme of things, this thing called life always works out.

We all are given choices & its our God given right to exercise that choice & not abuse the freedom we are given. Yet most of the time, we abuse that right & end up hurting many people around us… especially in terms of relationships. My great hypothesis on people with regards to relationships is right & i am still coming to terms with it… in life, relationships & work… That if someone says "See how lah", or "Confirm with you again", or my current favorite "Dam busy now leh… Not sure yet, will let you know soon"; they actually mean… more often than not , "Look asshole, im not free right now, i cant really be bothered with you… but to get you off my back… let me give u some hope. Maybe in some strange turn of events, i have itch on my arse & need you to get down on your knees to relief my discomfort while i fart in your face to find out how endearing/enduring you can be, maybe i might meet you to achieve whatever possible means it has to my advantage but for now, I dont care about you until you have something to put me on a morale highground, so thanks for asking… bugger off, you lame sod."

So sad but true that another great person once told me that the opposite of love is not hate… but indifference. A conversation just occurred recently, that love-hate relationships exist. Yeah, sure they do… having come from a few before. But loving to hate & hating to love, feeling for the lofty, it just confuses our already fragile mindset in this complicated world. Flirting with the desire of someone who love-hates you is like dancing with the dark side. (Luke… come to the dark side!!!) All i can say is, May The Force Be With You.

Cliched as it sounds, love will always set you free. That is the same for hate too… But indifference… not caring, leaving that person in a total sense of abandonment. That’s the worst thing you can do. The old chinese adage is right, "To hit is love, to scold is to show concern." If you dont bother about someone or something, usually you wont care to the point that person rots in hell or having the worse time of his miserable life. It doesnt matter if he loses his testicles or she gets arse-raped by a big black nigerian called Mutumbo, as long as this fool is not going to bother me, i shall be on my way. That is being lofty. That is sad. That is wrong. That is pathetic. That is unfortunately many of the paths we choose when it comes to relating to people. I hope never to do that & this figment of depravity will never cross my path.

Most of my feelings here are very true & descriptive. Many would think ill of me since i go to church & believe in the higher power of God so i wont be surprised of the label pharisee or hypocrite goes flashing across the screen. I have to admit, i am still human & i have my flaws. I dont wished to be judged & worst of all, i dont want to be ostracized. Above all else, i want to accept myself & be true. Thou shall not tell lies & if i am the lie, i’d rather not live it. Then i came across Martin Luther. Most of us are familiar with the flaws this great man aside from the great things he did. Luther was fouled mouth
and an anti-semitic. The phrase "Savouring the Soverignity of Grace in the lives of
Flawed Saints" is a reminder that no sinners or saints can sin beyond
the hope of being saved if the Lord wills that they be saved. The flaws
of Christians shouldn’t be mistaken for false salvation; for the
salvation of God is sure and His sactification is at work in our flawed
lives. I guess i take great satisfaction that my lack of tact, my direct but somehow seemingly frank & honest opinionated views would be exchanged by a saving grace that none may ever understand. True, i know of profanities uttered by the least of all vulgar people to make even my staff sergeant blush, yet till now i dont see no wrong in being frankfully honest. Yes, its very unbecoming of some people in their postition to lose their sense of decorum, but yet, its still very human & we all have to give each other that saving grace. That would be the kiss from the Rose.

If i ever get to go Europe, i would have to go to Austria… to
visit the trees, the scenery, the oakwoods, the home town of Arnold
Schwazenneger - Graz & of course, the lovely town of - Fucking. No
parental guidance is required. Im not paraphrasing… there is such a
place. It’s a small settlement village in Austria about the size of
Changi & i heard the people there are nice. I wonder if there is a Fucking Hotel.  Click here for Youtube link video on Fucking, Austria

Fucking, (IPA:
/ˈfʊkɪŋ/) is a hamlet (population c. 93), part of the municipality of
Tarsdorf,[2] in the Innviertel region of western Upper Austria, located
at 48°04′02″N, 12°51′49″E, bordering Bavaria. [3] It is near the city
of Salzburg, and also the town of "Tittmoning". The village is known to
have existed as “Fucking” since at least 1070 and is named after a man
from the 6th century called Focko. “Ing” is an old Germanic suffix
meaning “people”; thus Fucking, in this case, means “place of Focko’s
people”.

A similar phenomenon can be
attributed to Bavarian places such as Kissing and Petting, although
clearly less outside attention is paid due to less obscene names. Other
village names with an English-language connotation are Hacking and
Rottenegg in upper Austria, Attaching near Munich, Mailing near
Ingolstadt and the Berlin neighborhood Wedding.

I am sitting here on a sunday morning in KL doodling unable to sleep & thinking about the future. All my life, i have been taught to seize the day. You know… Carpe Diem… gather the rosebuds. Life is always there for the taking & going by other means would mean of an undercutting of whatever talents & blessings that the Big Guy up there has bestowed on us. I have been accused of being too intense & too passionate about certain things, especially the things that matter the most to me.

Pardon me while i burst into flames or almost short of breaking out into spontaneous human combustion then. It’s pretty hard to change when that’s all life is there for. I strongly believe that & it would virtually impossible for me to not do that. It’s sad that im overlooked & being compared to the lofty. To me, it just means the lofty simply dont care & accept a certain destiny. Deep inside i know, destiny is always there for you to take by the balls & squeeze. It takes testicular fortitude to do that. If you see a goal or something/someone you want/need… you go all out with all your heart to passionately pursue it. It’s a constant struggle between the on & the bochup… It’s so hard to be lofty about these things or otherwise.

Right now, Make Damn Sure by Taking Back Sunday is playing on repeat in iTunes.

you’ve got this new head filled up with smoke

I got my veins all tangled close

to the jukebox bars you frequent
the safest place to hide

a long night spent with your most obvious weakness
you start shaking at the thought

you are everything i want
cause you are everything i’m not

and we lay, we lay together
just not, too close, too close
(how close is close enough?)

we lay, we lay together
just not too close, too close

i just wanna break you down so badly
well i trip over everything you say
i just wanna break you down so badly
in the worst way

well my inarticulate store bought

hangover hobby kit it talks (talks)
and it says, "you oh, you are so cool"
scissor shaped across the bed
you are red, violent red
you hollow out my hungry eyes
you hollow out my hungry eyes

and we lay, we lay together
just not too close, too close
(how close is close enough?)
we lay, we lay together
just not too close, too close

i just wanna break you down so badly
well i trip over everything you say
i just wanna break you down so badly
in the worst way
i just wanna break you down so badly
well i trip over everything you say
i just wanna break you down so badly
in the worst way (worst way)

I’m gonna make damn sure
that you can’t ever leave
no you won’t ever get too far from me
you won’t ever get too far from me
i’ll make damn sure (damn sure)
that you can’t ever leave (that you can’t ever leave)
no you won’t ever get too far from me
you won’t ever get too far from me
you won’t ever get too far from me (ever get too far)
you won’t ever get too far

i just wanna break you down so badly
well i trip over everything you say
i just wanna break you down so badly
in the worst way (worst way)

i’m gonna make damn sure
i just wanna break you down so badly
i just wanna break you down so badly
in the worst way, worst way…

All throughout my trip on the bus, this song has been playing in my
head. Easter is here… & i hope my time will come. Been accused of
certain things. Guess i have to take it on a chin. Easter … here
again, a time for the blind to see… surely now, all of our hearts
will be free.

Easter by Marillion

A ghost of a mist was on the field
The grey and the green together
The noise of a distant farm machine
Out of a the first light came

A tattered necklace of hedge end trees
On the southern side of the hill
Betrays where the border runs between
Where mary dunoons boy fell

Easter here again
A time for the blind to see
Easter
Surely now can all of your hearts be free

Out of the port of liverpool
Bound for the north of ireland
The wash of the spray and horsetail waves
The roll of the sea below

And easter here again
A time for the blind to see
Easter
Surely now can all of your hearts be free

What will you do?
Make a stone of your heart?
Will you set things right?
When you tear them apart?
Will you sleep at night?
With the plough and the stars alight?

What will you do?
With the wire and the gun?
Thatll set things right
When its said and done?
Will you sleep at night?
Is there so much love to hide?

How the mighty have fallen. I guess i really wont be going to Athens afterall. I was really looking forward for a grandstand finish… to see the dream to watch Liverpool play the mancs. But i guess it’s not to be. 3-0 it finished, & it set up for a repeat of the 2005 Champions League Final. For me, i guess my "selfish" ambitions have been thwarted by other selfish ambitions… the man urinals are still without a shadow of a doubt the biggest piece of shit team there is around.

Looks like Mabel will be getting her new clothes afterall sooner more than later. I will be doing Legs & Paddles on the 27th of May & guess i will be going for Timothy’s wedding now that im not going to Greece. But still im kind of gutted that im going to be taking a cheaper alternative. What really sucks is that with all these things happening, its not because i let it happen but more of me being a victim of circumstance.

But how the mighty have fallen, the biggest gut wrenching thing today was that i allowed my feelings get in the way of something till the point that it ruined a blossoming friendship. Im sorry that it seemed stifling. It’s just my fault that i like to take things to the higher level. I have been always given stick by Ahmad & the guys for always taking things to the next step, always trying to come up on tops when i dont need to & i guess this has come back to haunt me. I just want to apologise for what has happened & somehow i wished the earth would have swallowed me up. It is not in my nature to get people into trouble & i was so looking forward to advancing but i guess its never good for a guy to show his feelings. I will be away for a while to sort out some things, some issues & maybe start something new… & maybe this might give some time for some things to cool off… I dont know. I just wish that things didnt turn out that way. Till now, im still not sure exactly what i did but my conscience is pricked that i got someone into something that both none of us wished for it & now i have to pay a price. I just do hope that things cool off, we will get back on track again soon & things will go back to the way they were.

But just like being gutted that im not going to Athens, im gutted about what happened here & i guess its just the way things are going the way they are. People are selfish & often distrusting of themselves & others around them to the fact that obsession & chauvinism are like an easy to assimilate culture.  It’s just the way it is & the way things work around here & i guess i have to accept that even though personally i dont see or believe it. The suckiest thing about this is that people will not always see eye to eye with you & that how they deal with things is how you have to deal with them.

I just want to say sorry here on the record & i hope to get things back to the way they were. I dunno where, i dunno when & i definitely dunno why & how… but i hope it happens. If it doesnt, i guess i just have to bite my teeth & deny myself again & again because as much as this sucks… we all have to deal with things somehow. For that person whose path i crossed, i pray to God that i dont seethe the situation further… I try to seize the day & live life with passion… sometimes i dont see how intense i can get & that’s something i have to learn. I wish the world would give everyone a chance & some patience to be gracious… but seeing how things go, the mighty will always fall, the intense can try to be lofty but will never happen, the gutted will always be disappointed with no respite & we have to all deal with things the way they are while denying ourselves. Welcome to the suck!